Sunday, March 12, 2006

The mouse that roared

Something inside me has changed. It almost feels like I've shed fear like a snake sheds its skin. Or maybe it's more like God has cut the tethers that bound me to the spirit of Fear, and I have risen above it by His grace. I can see my old fearful patterns and habits from a new vantage point, and it's kind of like watching a terrified mouse trapped in a maze. When frightened (which was more often than I like to admit), my poor mousey soul would habitually shrink back and end up cowering in a corner, defenseless against the prodding torments of my mortal emeny, the Spirit of Fear.
Today, however, I realize I am not trapped, that I can actually climb right out of the maze and land safely on the promises of God. I know that this grace has always been available to me, as it is to any child of God, but I feel as if I have supernatural understanding of it right now. Sort of like my emotional and mental patterns are being rewired, as the mind of Christ is being formed in me.
As if all this wasn't exhilarating enough, I found an amazing picture of Jesus this week. I collect old pictures of Jesus and am always on the lookout for different portrayals of Him. This painting depicts Jesus, standing calmly on the surface of the water, reaching to pull Peter out of the angry waves. If you know the story, Jesus calls Peter to come to Him from the boat, and Peter immediately climbs out of the boat and begins to walk across the water to Jesus. After a few good slaps in the face by the wind and waves, however, Peter takes his eyes off Jesus and begins to sink. Fear replaces faith and his supernatural journey ends as quickly as it began.
Lord, help me to keep my eyes on you during this journey. Don't let the waves of fear drive me back into the boat.