Thursday, June 01, 2006

Flying Blind

I just got back from the eye doctor. I should probably wait a bit to blog, because my eyes are still dilated and things are pretty distorted. But I press on . . .
Apparently, my eyes have been bad since birth. (Maybe that's why so many of my childhood memories are fuzzy?) Sister Mary Kenneth noticed that I squinted a lot in the first grade, so off I went to the optometrist. Two weeks later, I was sporting a pair of green horn-rimmed specs adorned with golden seahorses. Yeah, I was too cool for school--not!
This was actually back in the day where nerdy-looking glasses were exactly that--nerdy.
But I digress . . .

Seriously, my eyes are so bad--hard to correct--that I've had eye doctors ask me to go elsewhere. I'm not kidding! So I'm used to bad news when I go in for eye exams. For example, a few years ago an optometrist here in Portland asked me what route I took to drive home from his office.
"Why?" I innocently asked.
"Because I'm going to take another way," he smirked.
What a kidder. He was so funny I found another eye doctor.
And I visited Dr. Strom today.
"I'm seeing double," I told him.
He dilated my eyes and then pointed lazer beams directly into my retinas. That's what it felt like, anyway.
"We can fix that," he said. "Your eyes don't track together, but if we add a prism to your lenses your double vision should disappear."
He tried every prism in the place, but I was still seeing two of everying.
Perplexed, Dr. Strom shined an even brighter light into my eyes and had me give them a good roll-around.
"Hmmm," he concluded. "You have cataracts. They are small, but because they are in the center of your lens, they refract the light in a way which causes you to see double."
"Don't you do cataract surgery?" I beseeched.
"I do, and it's the most common eye surgery performed today," he answered. "But there are still risks--and we can correct your eyes to 20/20. You have to decide whether you can live with the condition or not."
"Well, at least my double vision is 20/20," I comforted myself as I paid the bill.
You'd think I'd see twice as good as other people!
So, the next time you see me whiz by in my littled red car, say a little prayer for me.
And maybe a few for the other drivers on the road!