I cannot remember the last time I had a full night's rest.
I suffer from periodic bouts of sleeplessness, but this last round has about worn me down. My typical night goes like this:
Go to bed between 9:30 and 10. Usually fall asleep in 20-30 minutes.
Wake up somewhere between 12:00 and 2:00 a.m.
Get up and take herbs, supplements, anything besides ambien to help me get back to sleep
After 1 to 2 hours of trying unsuccessfully to force myself back into slumberland, I cave in and pop the little blue pill.
And for the next 4 to 6 hours, I enjoy a drug-induced coma.
I get up, feeling spaced-out and exhausted, and drag myself through another day.
I think insomnia is where all insanity begins . . .
I've had words with the Lord about this. It just doesn't seem fair that He expects me to deal with the responsibilities and demands of the day when I cannot rest at night. All He ever says to me is that His grace is sufficient. After all, insomnia hasn't killed me yet (although driving while sleep-deprived can be more dangerous than driving under the influence of alcohol, so I pray for an extra measure of grace when I must drive after a sleepless night).
Last night, when I awoke at midnight, I knew immediately that I was up for the long haul. I went through my usual routine of taking natural sleep remedies. But I had a lot on my mind, and the longer I lay in bed, the more worked up I got. About 1:15, I threw in the towel and swallowed a sleeping pill. It usually takes about 20 minutes to kick in, so I opened my laptop and checked Facebook.
I read my messages and then noticed that two of my younger friends were on live chat. Surprised I wasn't the only one up at that ungodly hour, I asked them both why they weren't snug in their beds.
To make a long story short, they both had a lot on their minds, too. They chatted about their struggles, I shared a bit of mine, we prayed for each other and then all (hopefully) went to bed.
It was oddly comforting to find myself in the sleep-deprived fellowship of suffering last night.
Maybe I should start a group for Facebook insomniacs . . . .